Happy Mother's Day
To All the Foster Moms...
I'm so proud of you for taking on more than you thought was possible. You're working longer than you thought was imaginable. That precious little guy or gal, your teen, or tween won't thank you right away - if at all. Your family will take you for granted - even more than normal.
Your community may even look at you funny because you have a few extra kids in your yard... The neighbors may count the kids and count them again. Not to mention, you drive that big, ugly van around.
The babies who cry won't know the hours you spend worrying about them and rocking them and holding them. No one will know all the emotions that you feel or think in a 24-hour period. And these emotions are quadrupled on a court day or on an MDT meeting day.
No one sees the time you spend researching the various possibilities for what "your" child is going through! From post-visit behaviors to potty training; from emotional stress to violent outbursts...
The children in your home will never know the anguish you feel at the thought of them leaving. You must put up the "front" and the "strong" face. Moms must have a fortuitous attitude so the little ones can be strong with the move back home.
Mom, know that, even though no one may see the tears you shed and the heartache you have over a little one, God knows.
God sees all of your hard work, love, care, research, anguish. God knows the hours you spend dwelling on the "What if's" that is a day-to-day occurrence in the life of a foster mom. No one may see the tears you shed at night or in the morning or after the court hearing.
Happy Mother's Day to someone who gets barely any recognition. To the foster mom who gets snubbed by the lawyers in the courtroom, you are seen. And just because you are not acknowledged at the hearing, know that you are doing your personal best to advocate. You can't do anymore. Don't get upset when they don't know who you are at an MDT meeting. Don't be angry that the judge has no idea how attached you are to the foster child in your care.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms who have teenagers who are going through their own emotional struggles, trials, and issues. These emotions are on top of foster care life and bio family issues. Thank goodness for a foster mom like you, who genuinely cares about the teen in their home.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms who have infants battling Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome. Bless you, for staying up all hours of the night while the baby is trembling and crying. If you need a break, I pray you will get one. I pray you are brave enough to ask for one. Thank God there are women who step up to do this very special job of rocking babies who are severely withdrawing - through no fault of their own.
Happy Mother's Day to the Foster Moms who have biological children too. The bio -kids may feel neglected that there are more children in the house now. Mom, your attention is going to be divided, and you have to be honest. This is a calling on your entire family. You need to have hard conversations with your own children about doing foster care (and what it will look like). They need to know to communicate with you when they are feeling neglected. Teach them. You can make time for these extra children, but don't forget to take some time yourself.
The Child Knows
The child knows who you are when you put a band-aid on their skinned knee. They also know when you listen to their problems. A child understands a sympathetic tone. Likewise, a child knows when you get on the floor to play. A little girl knows when she can dress up in your old clothes. A little boy knows when you cheer him on at his game. The kids know; they may not have, or ever get, the skills to communicate, "Thank you". Yet, they know.
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to the Foster Moms who go unseen. Happy Mother's Day to the Foster Moms who go unheard in the daily decisions that are made about the children you have grown to love.
You are the unsung heroes of our modern era. You make a difference - even for a short time! I salute you.
Unselfish love does not exploit its object and it does not ask anything in return. -A.W. Tozer