Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms
Happy Mother's Day to foster moms who are pouring their hearts and souls into fostering children. You are seen, and you are heard. [Here is last year's post to enjoy: https://impressingminds.com/happy-mothers-day/]
Happy Mother's Day to the mom whose heart is broken because the child she thought she would have officially adopted by now is not her own quite yet. You are not alone. An appeal can be the cruelest on a family wanting to add to their family by adoption. The officialness of adoption cannot come soon enough.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms who are struggling to make it day-to-day. Struggling to make it to doctor appointments, therapy sessions, school conferences, physical therapy, or occupational therapy sessions. You are going to get through this. Get a notebook; write everything down, and just think about the contents of the notebook later.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms who have lost a child in the last year. The child that you adored and want to keep forever but got to return to a place you aren't sure is best for them - or you know is not best for them. Those in authority would say, reunification is best. It is. But it is so hard when you know how much you love - how hard you love.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms
...who need help with the cooking and cleaning and medication dispensing and grocery shopping and laundry and dusting and mopping and toilet scrubbing and wiping and bed making and shining, and straightening before the social worker's visit. You will never get it all done - especially with kids in the house! Get used to that and give yourself grace. Just make a simple schedule and lighten up the load in your mind.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms who have yet to get "the call". You are longing for the phone to ring. So desperately you yearn to have a child to nurture, teach, and hold. The call will come. You will become overwhelmed - with love. Maybe you are in between calls. Enjoy that time by beginning a good book and planning a vacation. Just then, the call will come.
And to those foster moms who need answers; I understand. We need answers to our case, their case because we are so invested in these kids. We want answers to the finality that will affect them as much as it will affect us. Our family is intertwined with their little lives forever, even when we are unexpectedly told to "Pack their things". You could stab a knife in our back because it would feel the same.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms...
...who take the brunt of the punishment for something someone else did. We take the hits and the kicks and the spits. Literally and figuratively. I'm sorry that you are going through this and have to bear the brunt of another's wrongdoing. But you are in good company. Jesus also took the hits and kicks and spits that were meant for me. Keep going, mother. Keep going.
For more information on taking the brunt: https://impressingminds.com/what-is-it-like-to-live-with-a-rad-child/
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms who have bio children that have to share you with them. You must be pulled in a million directions from all the tasks on your list and then you have to spread your love around to all of the people that you are trying to nurture and teach. I'm praying for these children who are sharing you - willingly or not.
Happy Mother's Day to the Foster Mothers who are actually Fathers.
The ones who are in the role of both mom and dad this year. You may be a foster dad to one or more. Thank you for stepping up when so many have stepped out. You are seen and appreciated today. I think of you often.
Happy Mother's Day to Foster Moms - the invisible ones who get overlooked. The moms, who get attention because they have a large family, but never have a real connection to other women. The ones who are too busy for female companionship on a deep level. The moms who are so busy that they must decline invitation after invitation until those invitations stop coming... Now we are just invisible.
We aren't at the luncheons or brunches or dinners with the girls, but we are at home keeping house, family, helping our husband with the bedtime routines. We are at home researching a behavior that our child won't stop or a new medication that may actually help with their ADHD without disrupting their sleep or appetite.
This day is for you.
I am happy to be a part of the elite "Foster Moms' Club" where we are free to wear sweats - old and ugly ones, gain 10 pounds for every child who enters our home, and have a ponytail as our primary hairstyle.
What did you do that was special today?