Rejected by Family
-from forgotten to forgiven & rejected by family
Have you ever felt rejected by family or friends?
Have you made bad decisions in a desperate time? Listen to my friend Tiara's story... She felt rejected by family. Her story could change your life though! Reasons children go into foster care are many. She has a unique story; here are more reasons... https://impressingminds.com/why-are-children-in-foster-care/
I've heard people say, "I have a checkered past…"
I don't have a checkered past… and even though you would NEVER know it, behind these eyes, lie deep dark secrets, that no one has ever known.
We all have a "past", and mine isn't checkered… it's BLACK. - Tiara
From a young age, I was abused and mistreated. I have a half-blind eye and scar tissue on my optic nerve that gives a timeline of when it all started.
A few months old maybe. Just a baby and the devil tried to take me out. Blunt force trauma to the head that put me in a hospital. I wish I knew the whole story, but I don't. All I can tell you is I was a CPS/DYFS case my WHOLE life (until 18) and was taken from my parents for a while. I made it, but not without injuries and damage that have taken my vision slowly throughout the years. I had to pay for someone else's sins and hatred before I even knew what it was. This is why I felt rejected by family.
In my childhood, my innocence was stolen. I was rejected by family.
I went through life from that point feeling afraid of everyone. Then my mom left me and took my brothers with her… I can't describe the rejection and abandonment I endured by the woman who bore me (we've since been reunited and I couldn't be more grateful); however, I never even knew my dad. I didn't have anyone. Just my grandma. And I clung to her with all I had in me. But she pushed me away. Told me to "be a big girl"...
Every Sunday, I would lay at her feet and cry. I didn't want to go back to school. I was afraid that, when I came home, she wouldn't be there… 😥 She always was though… but the fear NEVER left me. I was always ready for the next person to walk out on me... In school, I was a loner, and others quickly noticed how "strange" I seemed to act around them. I felt rejected by family and friends.
All through elementary and middle school, I was bullied and made fun of. I isolated myself until about 13 years old when I found sex and drugs… Then I realized I was pretty and men looked at me… I loved the attention. I LOVED the feeling of being wanted…
Often I would dress in provocative clothes and get all done up JUST to walk down the street and hear cars beep at me… Just to hear men yell out how "hot" I was… For the first time in my life, I KNEW what it felt like to be "wanted"... And people desired me… they didn't want to throw me away like trash anymore…
Or so I thought….
I gave my body to anyone who would take it. I thought sex was the way to get people to love me. But it never did. Time and time again, they would walk out.. They always left… no one ever stayed.
I was rejected by family... But drugs-
they took the pain.. and even if it was only for a moment, it was WORTH it.
Ecstasy was my drug of choice. I liked it because it made me "happy". I could take it and be happy all day. Nothing could touch me. Nothing could bring me down.
I took Ecstasy EVERY single day of my life for about a year or so. It got to the point where I would have to take 2 or 3 triple-stacked pills just to get high.
I didn't realize then, but my drug use of X would lead me into a life of SEVERE depression because of how it sucks up all your serotonin and messes with hormones. But more about that another time.
X was the first drug I'd ever tried. It was my gateway drug that eventually led me into weed (marijuana), coke, heroin, acid, and whatever else I could abuse… When I say that, I MEAN it… I would go to the store and steal Triple C (Coricidin cold and cough) and take a full sheet. I'd get spray paint and huff paint. I'd drink a bottle of Robitussin… whatever it took to numb the pain. I was ALL IN.
I was young and needed a way to pay for it all so I would either date dealers or prostitute myself to make money for my drugs. There was even a time I got tired of it all and I only smoked weed and drank. I would go through an ENTIRE ounce of weed each week. I couldn't live without a blunt in my hand. And I was drinking stuff like Everclear EVERY DAY. https://vertavahealth.com/blog/dangers-everclear/ for what is Everclear.
I was sick and needed a savior.
But no one EVER told me about Jesus. Even though my grandma was a Catholic and went to church every Sunday. Even though she dragged me to Sunday school every week, NO ONE ever GAVE ME THE GOSPEL…
But I needed something. I knew there was something more. AND I was tired of the bullies at school. Tired of the drugs. But I had been rejected by family.
I was tired of feeling so weak and powerless.
I wanted strength.
Tiara
And if there was something "more" out there, I wanted to know what it was.
So I turned to witchcraft.
I learned how to use herbs and candles to cast "spells". What I REALLY wanted was to make those bullies at school leave me alone. I wanted to make people LOVE me.
And with Wicca, you couldn't do that… Wicca is known as "White Magic" and you can't cast spells for personal gain. (It's all evil though, don't get me wrong, I'm just taking you on this journey with me.)
I made the choice at 16 years old to turn to Satanism, a.k.a "Black Magic". Learn more: https://www.compellingtruth.org/black-magic.html
I participated in a ritual where I gave my body to be possessed. And I WAS. Actually multiple times throughout my life…
I won't give all the details because it's pretty crazy, but I was on my knees, naked, bound, and blindfolded, during the ritual, I FELT something enter into my body. It SHOT through me actually, like lightning. It was so intense that I lost complete consciousness for quite some time… When I passed out from the experience, I almost smashed my head on the concrete of the basement I was in, but the person performing the ritual KNEW it would happen and caught my head before impact. I woke up feeling POWERFUL and NEW.
I thought, "Wow, it worked".. but my life only spiraled from there.
The only difference was, I SAW demons now. Everywhere. On my way to school, at my house. At night. I was tormented by them… and I couldn't escape it…
I became depressed and suicidal. I tried to kill myself and began self-mutilating. Remember, I was rejected by family.
Doctors medicated me heavily. I was on probation most of my teenage life, I lived on house arrest with an ankle bracelet, and was on suicide watch. I was even put into a mental home for a while.
Let's fast forward to spare you the details of all the times I ran away from home, landed in JDC, (they knew me by name there), shelters and programs, ran from the cops, had guns to my head, and stared death DIRECTLY in face… and let me just reiterate… Everything I've told you above was ALL before I even turned 18…
I've had my unfair share of trouble. There's not much you can tell me that will shake me or shock me.
Just about the only thing I've never done is kill anyone.
The point is, there's NOTHING you could do that is so bad, that you can't be forgiven.
I WISH someone would have told me about Jesus. It took 21 years for me to learn the gospel message. And crazy as it sounds, God used my abusive EX husband's distorted view of the bible to show me the truth.
No one ever told me. But God showed up despite it. He met me at my lowest time and in the midst of my life slipping away as my husband choked me in the bed, I managed to slip in a breath and cried out, "Jesus, help me!"
IMMEDIATELY, Those black eyes looking at me were softened and his face returned to normal. Whatever demon was inside of him was GONE and I saw the power of this Name for the FIRST time ever.
The Name of Jesus!
That's when I think I REALLY began searching the scriptures for myself. Since I was rejected by family.
And when I was finally able to SEE and understand the gospel message, I RAN headlong into Jesus' arms and NEVER looked back. I was in awe that somebody actually loved me. 😭😭😭 I couldn't believe that I actually meant something to someone… and that after all that I had done, I was FORGIVEN.
I remember falling on my knees that day and crying out, "Thank you for loving me!"
"Thank you for forgiving me!"
I don't know how long I stayed in that place, but the Lord let me know that day that He has been with me all along. All those times I faced death, I SHOULD have died, but He spared me and set me apart. EVEN in my sin and rebellion.
He took and sad a broken soul and used it to build a ministry of healing that has helped 100s, maybe even thousands. A small Etsy shop online and a hobby has brought the gospel to MANY. I've seen those demons that used to plague me FLEE at the sound of the Name above all Names. Then I've seen the darkness light up when He walks into the room. Next, I've seen Him come suddenly and bring deliverance and healing where darkness and sin had made a home.
For the Etsy shop, click here: https://www.etsy.com/in-en/shop/2911Wellness?ref=shop_sugg
There's NOTHING He can't do.
If he can heal a dark and broken soul like mine, and make something beautiful out of the ashes that used to be my life then He can do it with YOU!
You are NOT too far gone!
Maybe you're tired. ---- tired of being scared and unsure about your future. And, maybe you are tired of the life you're living.
OR, maybe you've thought about ending it all.
Jesus can bring you peace. And I promise that the peace HE gives LASTS and NOTHING can take it from you.
I know because I've lost a child to a corrupt justice system, watched my motor home flip on the side of the freeway with my family inside, and LOST everything because of it, and even in the grief and uncertainty, I felt REAL lasting peace. The kind of peace that only God can give.
And I have seen Him show up and shower blessings and favor even in the middle of the devastation. I was rejected by family, but then, when ready, Jesus steps in....
He WANTS TO OVERWHELM YOU.
But not in a bad way.
He wants to overwhelm you with divine favor, grace, and mercy. He wants to BLESS you.
Let me just say, that if you're like me, with a BLACK (not checkered) past like mine, and maybe it's still your present life, and you've made it THIS FAR... I PROMISE you that God has a plan for you.
Because if you're like me, you shouldn't be alive right now
And if the devil had his way, you'd definitely be LONG gone.
But you're not. And it's not a coincidence.
It's God's grace.
There's only ONE way to get what you really need. What your soul has REALLY been seeking all along. And He's been seeking after you too.
It's not too late. Turn to Jesus and live. The former things are passing away, but He will make all things new!
Be among those things and you won't regret it, I promise
*I've had a few ask, so please share if you feel led. ❤️