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Five Unique Ways to Show Love to a Foster Child

Updated: Dec 27, 2022

5 Unique Ways to Show Love to Your Foster Child

Have you ever struggled to actually show love? I have a problem with it at times. I know in my mind that I love someone, but getting it out of my mouth or into my everyday actions is sometimes too difficult to do. Often when we get foster children in our home, they can seem like strangers that we need to get to know. They may not know that we love them. So here are five unique ways to show love to your foster child in honor of Valentine’s Day.

I wanted to share this with you because foster care gets a bad rap and we foster parents have got to do better to show love and treat our foster children with the utmost respect and change the narrative about those who enter foster care. Showing love would be an excellent place to start. To read more about the realities of foster care, visit:

Ways to show love to your foster child.

The first way to show love is to

Gently teach them life lessons at every opportunity. Many foster children lack the teaching regarding right from wrong (and the reasons for doing what is right), how to make a pie, how to grow a garden, or how to cook a meal. They have never had the opportunity to learn to swim or mow the grass. My neighbor’s young teen loves to mow grass for us because they took time to teach him and it was a bonding experience for his dad and him.

The second way to show love to your foster child is to

Show respect and politeness to these children and model a new way to communicate. In this situation, we should give respect freely. We should be modeling respect because often these children lived in a crude environment. Their siblings and extended family may have not shown politeness or manners. Teach them in a way that is not threatening but enjoyable. Speak sweetly. It will go a long way. Don’t make it a big deal though.

A third way to show love to your foster child is to

Start a savings account/envelope for the child. With the subsidy money you get, what a better way to show love than to teach them the value of saving and actually match what goes into the envelope. As the child saves money, you match it in their envelope. If you are so inclined, give an allotment of the subsidy for chores done successfully. This would help you have motivation for teaching them the chores, for tracking the chores, and for getting more chores accomplished. It is a win-win situation.

The fourth way to show love to your foster child is to

Take them on a date with dinner and dessert. My husband takes our daughters out for dates at times. He decides on a restaurant, lets the girls get dressed up, and takes them on their specific date. The subsidy allows us to do this with each girl separately. Ideally, I would take any boys that we had. Dinner and dessert are at two different locations to add to the special feelings of the night. We have a Sweet Frog in our area and that is a big hit with children (and me…)

The last way to show love to your foster child is to

Let them stay up late with you to make a fort or go camping (in the living room). In the winter this is a great way to show love. Get on their level. Build a fort and have popcorn on the floor with them while watching a movie. This is an opportunity to bond with the child as well as go back to a childhood experience that you may have taken for granted in your ‘normal’ life. Children love to make forts and you could do this as the introductory activity for a movie. You could use a DVD player or computer under the fort or obtain an opening to view from the television.

This activity could also be changed to an ‘indoor camping’ experience where you use flashlights, make smores (in the microwave ahead of time), and eat jerky. Sing songs from camp. Here are a few to choose from

What is one way that you will show love to your foster child this month? Write it in the comments. Let's share our results that work and change the narrative as I mentioned in this post:

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Impressing Minds is about creating value in the mind of a child through the foster parents. Imagine the mind of a child being made of play-doh, and you are about to make a permanent impression. What type of impression will you make? I will encourage you to make a soft, lasting, affirmative impression in their mind by giving tools to get started fostering, accomplishing a great foster care home, and serving the children in your care. I offer support to you and others fostering. An important element of Impressing Minds is the support that others have given to those in need.


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